Before I've had a chance to utter the words: “Don't, please, just…don't,” he has already placed a firm hand on my arm, bowed his head and proceeded to launch into saying grace, audibly enough that several other tables in the joint have turned to stare in bemusement.
And thirdly, because I'd become really tired of trying to explain my faith to the atheists I was dating, who at best looked on it as a quaint eccentricity, and at worst just thought I was an idiot.
There was also a serious sense of humour failure, as if the men on there were worried that “being a bit funny” is the work of Satan and no self-respecting Christian would dare make a joke. At least Public Praying Man made it to the dating stage – but his penchant for saying grace out loud made me feel, as many of the men's profiles did, that I wasn't Christian enough to go out with a Christian.
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Instead said blokes had chosen to write strings of generic proclamations about how much they loved the Lord. I was getting that vibe already guys, considering you've chosen to join a religious dating site. He was writing from the waters off the coast of Canada, and wondered if I'd wait for him.
Way to state the obvious and waste your digital calling card. He was due some leave from his unspecified nautical job in three months, and could we “meet up and see how things progress? There were plenty more from those who clearly weren't a good match – guys in the 50 plus age bracket, guys who lived in Australia, guys who were saving their first kiss for marriage.
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