Power dating games

This is the core thinking of the partner who initiates hot/cold, and serves as their safety net to vulnerability. Because relationship uncertainty makes human beings yearn for stability.

Our automatic response is to chase when the "other" pulls away.

Behavioral extremes indicate a power play is being employed. Once we have the ability to see hot and cold for what it is, we’re less likely to suffer its negative effects.

It’s long been the rule that when dating someone whose behavior is marked by hot and cold reactivity, you’re standing on shaky ground.

Marriage is an emotional business relationship between two people.

It's long been the rule that when dating someone whose behavior is marked by hot and cold reactivity, you're standing on shaky ground.

Whether initiated by a cold-shoulder, avoidance, or lack of communication… This phase activates loss, making you yearn for them and wait with bated breath for their call or text. These are the basic dance steps to this type of behavior. This formula is predictable and consistent even when your partner’s reactions are not.

Will you have a business-based marriage, a personality-based marriage, or a fantasy-based marriage?

Your phone becomes your best friend or worst enemy, depending on what message, if any, it's delivering. Perhaps it's better not to play games in the first place...

One minute you're high on the warmth of their attention, the next minute you're frozen out and left wondering what happened. Whether you call it push/pull, on/off, or hot and cold, the end result is the same. Whether done consciously or unconsciously, this type of behavior activates longing and pursuit. If we don't understand the game of hot and cold, we can find ourselves pulled into a drama of confusion. Understanding this type of behavior is crucial even for those of you committed to not playing games.

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