Nothing is more annoying than a guy who takes shortcuts.” She cites the following example: “Say I spend an entire paragraph talking about how one of my loves is spending time with my sister and rolling around with her two boys. ’ I’m like, ‘Can’t you even be bothered to read the whole profile? If the other person’s profile says, ‘I’m looking for long-term,’ and all you’re after is hooking up, give it a pass.’ Or, I’ll have stated that if you do any drugs at all—even pot—you and I will not be a match, yet I hear from guys who are clearly into partying.” Wendy’s cardinal rule for online dating is this: Don’t waste your own time and don’t waste other people’s time. Similarly, if you want something more serious, and all she’s into is random play, move on.” Next: Scaling it back [pagebreak] The problem for many younger guys when choosing appropriate potential partners, notes Wendy, are “the shiny factor” and “single focus self-involvement lenses.” The most frequent offenders, in her experience, are twenty-somethings just looking to hook up or find some instant gratification. “They see a tremendous rack in one of my pictures, and they’re mesmerized, and I get the IM or email.” (In fact, commenting on a woman’s physical attractiveness right off the bat can actually be a turn-off, according to Robinson, since it can be read as superficial.By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.Now I’m ready to give it another shot, because I’ve hit upon a theory – one that will exorcise my dating demons and turn me into a great seducer of women. If we’d met on a Friday, who knows what would have happened. I think she enjoyed our chat but it was hard to tell. I produce a biography of Tito from my bag but the coincidence fails to stimulate conversation. Apparently women like someone noticing little details in their outfit. Conversation – or the lack of it – has been playing on my mind.It’s called meta-learning and, while it sounds like -style pick-up artistry, it’s far less arch. Here's 5 grooming tips to grab her attention) Later, I line up dates on the various websites I’ve signed up for. While marvelling at Ok Cupid (seemingly designed for egomaniacs and oversharers) I decide a bland profile is best. Quinn’s advice is to ignore the dating cliché that asking lots of questions will win women over: “Volunteer information about yourself – it encourages people to open up.” I talk about my upbringing and, blow me, it works. I call Sean Brickell, a public speaking coach, and relay the day’s chat to him in the hope of reassurance. “Silences at the start of conversations are image killers,” he tells me.
I deflect and tell him I’m not looking to jump into that. I know a lot of these women I see complaining about online dating, and they’re awesome. They are women who qualify as “a real catch.” And they complain a lot about the creepy men who overwhelm their dating profiles with their horndog commentary and their dick pics.
’” — Kristen, 27 The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.
Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory.
There are sites that are specifically about that kind of thing, so why you would waste time and money on sites or parts of websites that are not about casual sex is baffling. BUT WE’RE MARRIED AND HAVE HAD A LOT OF SEX WITH EACH OTHER ALREADY. What if you read her profile and discovered what she was interested in, as well as what she wasn’t up for, and chose who to connect with based on that?
Not only are you wasting your time, but you’re wasting the time of other people and coming off as a total creep in the process. Did I say anything remotely sexual the night we met? What if you, based on reading her profile, opened the conversation with something you know is interesting to her rather than just “Hey,” or some cheesy pickup line?